teleidoplex: (Default)
[personal profile] teleidoplex
 At some point, I bought into the fiction that I was lazy. A slacker. There are many sources for this (parents, teachers, boyfriends, society, a pervasive protestant work ethic that tells me my main value as a human being lies in my education/job/productive output), but it all really culminates in the soul-destroying phrase I heard so often as a kid:'you're so bright, if you'd only apply yourself' -- when what they really meant was 'do the things we want you to do rather than the things that interest you, because there's little/no value in them, and you certainly can't monetize them' -- a perspective doomed to smother out any hint of brightness in another human being, if ever there was one.

This self-perception that I'm lazy remains one of the most enduring fictions I still believe about myself. I certainly spent most of November feeling this -- that I wasn't doing enough, that I was slacking off, letting myself down, wasting time, etc.

Because of NaNoWriMo, I tracked my activities for the month at a very granular level (which I don't normally do except in a very informal way), and I collated them at the end of the month. I realized something: I'm a fricken rock-star of productivity.

Here's what I did: 

Worked my normal job 40 hours/week
Wrote 33k words on Chiaroscuro
       37 hours spent writing by hand
       Roughly 37 hours spent transcribing/editing (didn't track this, but it's about a 1:1 ratio for writing/transcribing)
Did extensive developmental edits for a friend's novel (about 20 hours)
Went to dance classes (about 8 hours)
Dealt with birthday and holiday blues
Hosted a family member for a week

Only two of these activities were directly monetized (and one of those, the developmental edit, came largely because I edited the first novel on a volunteer basis -- just a friend helping out a friend). This has made only a tiny chip in my 'I am a lazy slacker' fiction, but even that is nice. For December, I'm planning to do a match for November, plus a bump-up of editing two short stories to get them out and doing the rounds, and of course writing my fanfic gift and various treats for Yuletide. Maybe I'll turn that chip into a crack.

I can do it! For I am not a slacker!
Identity URL: 
Account name:
If you don't have an account you can create one now.
HTML doesn't work in the subject.


If you are unable to use this captcha for any reason, please contact us by email at

Notice: This account is set to log the IP addresses of everyone who comments.
Links will be displayed as unclickable URLs to help prevent spam.


teleidoplex: (Default)

October 2013

6789 101112

Most Popular Tags

Style Credit

Expand Cut Tags

No cut tags
Page generated Sep. 20th, 2017 11:05 am
Powered by Dreamwidth Studios