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teleidoplexOnce, a goodly many years ago, which is to say "upon a time"...
There was a land full of critters. There were bears and wolves and bunnies, ravens and small kestrels (or maybe owls?). There were cats (rather a lot of cats, actually) and dogs, and even a dog who thought he was a cat (go figure). There were lizards and dragons and snakes, and a tanuki badger who had wandered far away (the critters of the land missed him still). There were foxes and coyotes and maybe even a kitsune (although she mostly kept this secret). And the moon shone overhead, and the sun brightened the sky in the day, and the critters were mostly happy, and played with each other often.
But every tale must have a conflict, and this tale is no different. Strife and chaos crept into the land, unseen by those critters who lived there. It settled into their hearts and divided them. The cats looked at the birds and thought "yum". The lizards and dragons began eyeing each others' sparklies. The bunnies and ravens were having a particularly hard time (as bunnies and ravens are wont to do at this time of death and rebirth...it's a whole conflict of interest thing, which can be a bitch when it's internal). And the land dimmed and grew unhappy under all this darkness.
And the foxes looked out from their warm and snug den, with their books scattered around their feet and their cat leaving fur everywhere, and they said to themselves "what the heck happened?"
And lo, the Vulpes, who is ancient and wise, said, "these critters are taking things way too seriously",
And to him the Kitsune responded, "but it is not our energy that may help them through these dark times. It is to Coyote, goofiest of the goofy, to shine upon them his wacky light", and she looked rather displeased that the words 'goofy' and 'wacky' must escape her elegant maw, but such was her nobility that she could not deny Coyote the titles that honored him.
And the Vulpes considered, and said, "yeah, but Coyotes are pretty dim. He doesn't realize that it is his uninhibited drive towards ecstatic silliness and debauchery that is needed. We need an elaborate plan, on the level of a Rube Goldberg Machine, that will amuse us immensely in its design and execution, and at the same time will serve to wake Coyote up and spread Coyote energy" and he chewed his forepaw in thought.
"We could throw rocks at him," said the kitsune, thinking that nothing softer would get a thick-skulled Coyote's attention.
"PIES!!!!!," exclaimed the Vulpes, with the tone that others might use to shriek 'Eureka!', "we can throw pies at him."
"Better yet," said the Kitsune, cottoning on to this idea, "we can get *other* people to throw pies at him. It may take more than one," she was still thinking that rocks might work better. Maybe if she put a few rocks in the pies...
"We'll do it. I HEREBY DECLARE THIS DAY *'PIE THROWING DAY'*," he announced to the Land in his best foxish Vaudvillian voice.
And all the critters looked up, and looked at each other, and thought this was a pretty good idea, and they began getting pies and throwing them at each other willy-nilly.
And the foxes realized that they maybe should have been a little more specific. Apparently, only foxes are clever enough to realize that pies are meant to be thrown at Coyotes.
"Uh," said the Kitsune, looking at the flying cream outside her den, and thinking that she'd just washed her shining golden fur.
"Hrm," said the Vulpes, ruffling up his rust-colored ruff.
"Maybe we should stay in today" -- "I have a lot of reading to do", they said in unison.
And the foxes retreated to the safety of their den, and outside there was much throwing of pies, and many of them did hit the Coyote. And when he realized what was going on, and that strife and anger had come to the land (although by now they had been sent packing -- strife and anger cannot stand long against a well-thrown pie), the Coyote declared that there should be a huge party at his new house, with much grilling of meat and drumming of drums.
And when the foxes slinked into the party (in raincoats and rainhoods and galoshes), certain that there would be pies in their future, all the critters of the land just said "Hey!", and "How are you!" and "Glad you could make it, foxes!".
And the foxes turned to each other and said, "They're planning something," because foxes can only think like foxes, and that's what foxes would do. And the foxes spent the rest of the party paranoid that the pies would come at any moment, and the Coyote just laughed, because that was revenge enough for the Coyote.
And ever since that day, the critters of the land have celebrated Pie Throwing Day on April 1st, in honor of the Coyote, and in order to make the Foxes paranoid, and in order to generally lighten the mood.
And because of this, they all lived happily ever after.
Happy Pie Throwing Day!!!!!
There was a land full of critters. There were bears and wolves and bunnies, ravens and small kestrels (or maybe owls?). There were cats (rather a lot of cats, actually) and dogs, and even a dog who thought he was a cat (go figure). There were lizards and dragons and snakes, and a tanuki badger who had wandered far away (the critters of the land missed him still). There were foxes and coyotes and maybe even a kitsune (although she mostly kept this secret). And the moon shone overhead, and the sun brightened the sky in the day, and the critters were mostly happy, and played with each other often.
But every tale must have a conflict, and this tale is no different. Strife and chaos crept into the land, unseen by those critters who lived there. It settled into their hearts and divided them. The cats looked at the birds and thought "yum". The lizards and dragons began eyeing each others' sparklies. The bunnies and ravens were having a particularly hard time (as bunnies and ravens are wont to do at this time of death and rebirth...it's a whole conflict of interest thing, which can be a bitch when it's internal). And the land dimmed and grew unhappy under all this darkness.
And the foxes looked out from their warm and snug den, with their books scattered around their feet and their cat leaving fur everywhere, and they said to themselves "what the heck happened?"
And lo, the Vulpes, who is ancient and wise, said, "these critters are taking things way too seriously",
And to him the Kitsune responded, "but it is not our energy that may help them through these dark times. It is to Coyote, goofiest of the goofy, to shine upon them his wacky light", and she looked rather displeased that the words 'goofy' and 'wacky' must escape her elegant maw, but such was her nobility that she could not deny Coyote the titles that honored him.
And the Vulpes considered, and said, "yeah, but Coyotes are pretty dim. He doesn't realize that it is his uninhibited drive towards ecstatic silliness and debauchery that is needed. We need an elaborate plan, on the level of a Rube Goldberg Machine, that will amuse us immensely in its design and execution, and at the same time will serve to wake Coyote up and spread Coyote energy" and he chewed his forepaw in thought.
"We could throw rocks at him," said the kitsune, thinking that nothing softer would get a thick-skulled Coyote's attention.
"PIES!!!!!," exclaimed the Vulpes, with the tone that others might use to shriek 'Eureka!', "we can throw pies at him."
"Better yet," said the Kitsune, cottoning on to this idea, "we can get *other* people to throw pies at him. It may take more than one," she was still thinking that rocks might work better. Maybe if she put a few rocks in the pies...
"We'll do it. I HEREBY DECLARE THIS DAY *'PIE THROWING DAY'*," he announced to the Land in his best foxish Vaudvillian voice.
And all the critters looked up, and looked at each other, and thought this was a pretty good idea, and they began getting pies and throwing them at each other willy-nilly.
And the foxes realized that they maybe should have been a little more specific. Apparently, only foxes are clever enough to realize that pies are meant to be thrown at Coyotes.
"Uh," said the Kitsune, looking at the flying cream outside her den, and thinking that she'd just washed her shining golden fur.
"Hrm," said the Vulpes, ruffling up his rust-colored ruff.
"Maybe we should stay in today" -- "I have a lot of reading to do", they said in unison.
And the foxes retreated to the safety of their den, and outside there was much throwing of pies, and many of them did hit the Coyote. And when he realized what was going on, and that strife and anger had come to the land (although by now they had been sent packing -- strife and anger cannot stand long against a well-thrown pie), the Coyote declared that there should be a huge party at his new house, with much grilling of meat and drumming of drums.
And when the foxes slinked into the party (in raincoats and rainhoods and galoshes), certain that there would be pies in their future, all the critters of the land just said "Hey!", and "How are you!" and "Glad you could make it, foxes!".
And the foxes turned to each other and said, "They're planning something," because foxes can only think like foxes, and that's what foxes would do. And the foxes spent the rest of the party paranoid that the pies would come at any moment, and the Coyote just laughed, because that was revenge enough for the Coyote.
And ever since that day, the critters of the land have celebrated Pie Throwing Day on April 1st, in honor of the Coyote, and in order to make the Foxes paranoid, and in order to generally lighten the mood.
And because of this, they all lived happily ever after.
Happy Pie Throwing Day!!!!!
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no subject
Date: 2004-04-01 07:45 am (UTC)Crap.
Just not at work! Bad day!!!! Bad day!!!!!
WHOOP WHOOP WHOOP!!!!
Regional Manager is down today!!! WHOOP WHOOP!!!!
You get me fired, you get to pay my rent.
no subject
Date: 2004-04-01 08:50 am (UTC)May all your pies have smooth sailing!
no subject
Date: 2004-04-01 09:19 am (UTC)Vulpines make good eatin'.
Now if you'll excuse me, I have some hardcore napping to do, since I just got up, and boy did it make me tired...
no subject
Date: 2004-04-01 09:25 am (UTC)Have fun!
no subject
Date: 2004-04-01 11:44 am (UTC)Oi, tell me about it. Hmmm... pies...